Treat others with love and respect.
Bringing joy to other people's lives will help you find joy in your
own. In addition, those that you treat well will likely repay you with
the same kindness. Gradually you will start to feel your worth through
the smiles of gratitude. However, don't just be very kind to people so
you can receive royal treatment.
2
Create goodwill and thankfulness by practicing random deeds of kindness.
Share your being with others in many ways. Share your knowledge in nice
ways or make a small donation to a needy person or to an unfortunate
child.
Share opportunities for your potential happiness by sharing goals
and accomplishments with a special person or a group. Help a candidate
or a political cause or a community project. Help at a school or church.
3
Express yourself, perhaps in letters.
If that fits your circumstance, or write an article, when you have a
topic. Share your ideals, time -- or things you have or get.
4
Learn to let go of past events.
You deserve a fresh beginning! There are a lot of people out there that
have had hard lives/bad beginnings or moments. Don't close yourself out
of grief, disappointments, or fears of future ridicule. Acknowledge
your feelings, but work to put them behind you. Cherish what you have
learned from your challenges, and how you have changed and grown from
them.
5
Forgive yourself.
Don't punish yourself for something you have done in the past. Instead,
look at the mistake as a learning experience. Say to yourself now: “I
forgive myself for _______.” Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to
yourself. Look yourself right in the eyes and speak forgiveness like you
mean it. Don't ever demean or ridicule yourself. If you do, laugh out
loud, realizing that was then and this is now. Every day is a new
beginning.
6
Post positive statements up some places where you will see them each and every day.
"I am beautiful." or "I have the courage to love." Read them out loud,
every day, at least once, ideally at least ten times each time you
notice one of them. Sticky notes are fabulous for such affirmations and
goals.
7
Sit in front of the mirror.
Imagine in the mirror is someone putting you down. Then, practice
calmly replying to her, "I do 'not' care," with a smile. Practice it
until you truly believe it.
8
Try to look past "material" objects and feelings:
We all want a nice house, nice things, someone to share our life with.
Find your true wants objectively. Do you crave power, a religion or
simply a motive? Sometimes it's easier to hide the truth from yourself,
but figuring out what you really want will help you know yourself better
and hopefully aid in answering important questions you often ask
yourself.
9
Keep a journal.
Write about your experiences, good and bad. When you write down good
experiences, allow yourself to feel those feelings. When you remember
bad experiences, allow yourself to feel self-compassion. Compassion is
not self-pity, but rather willingness to be present/accept with one's
own pain and regret. Most people experienced chronic emotional
invalidation growing up; adults shouldn't expect others to be
validating, and need to learn how to validate themselves. Compassion
allows us to be present with our pain so it can acknowledged and let go.
10
Be Persistent.
Work as steadily as you can at loving and accepting yourself just as
you are right now. A large part of love is accepting another "as is".
This is no different for yourself—learn to love yourself "as is". Only
after we've accepted themselves we might think about changing some
less-than desirable characteristics.
11
Start working toward how and what you want to do and be.
Do so with a positive attitude by working toward your higher purposes
and greater appreciation of your problems as motivating your finding new
and better opportunities. Be enthusiastic and cheerful (appropriately).
12
Don't define yourself by what you've done or do. Celebrate your accomplishments but let go of the things you haven't...yet? Remember that success is not
a destination. Success is making progress (toward the desires of your
heart). Accept yourself, and others will follow your lead. You are not
your deeds, appearance, or bank balance.
13
Hug Yourself. Show yourself love through a hug by hugging the real you.
Be who you really are.
Express yourself, laugh, play, or sing. Don't be afraid of what others
think, they feel the same way and want to express themselves, but are
afraid to show it too.
15
Trust yourself. Don't just blindly follow other peoples suggestions. Learn to trust who you really are.
16
Think of five positive words that describe you. Try not to use words like *pretty* and *nice*. Try variety.
17
Think about what you really want someone to be like in a relationship. Do those characteristics also apply to you?
18
Practice receiving love.
To truly love is to be able to receive it. When someone loves you, does
some kind deeds to you, say kind words, give you gifts, or give you
compliments, embrace it. Allow yourself to feel the love that has come
your way. Know that you are worthy of love. It is important to accept a
gift of love by others. You give yourself a chance to learn more about
yourself that you are lovable. You give someone a joy of giving by
loving you. Another important way is to practice receiving love by
saying “I love you” to yourself. Let that love fill your heart. Receive
that love that you give to yourself unconditionally.
19
Practice saying “no”.
It is okay to say “no” to people when you do not feel like doing
something. Do not feel guilty about it. Just realize that you have the
right to do so. This is different from doing things out of love. If you
do things out of love and your heart wants to do them, that is a
different story. When your heart does not want to do it and you feel
like you have to please someone, and make others happy by over extending
yourself. Learning how to say “no” is an art. It takes practice. You
might say “Thank you for asking. I am not ready to commit to doing
anything right now.” You cannot please everyone. When you say “no”,
remember to smile sincerely and say “no” gracefully.
20
Do what you love.
What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do
and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in
your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As
a result you become happier and more loving.
21
Treat yourself like treating your very best friend.
How do you treat your very best friend? Do you treat him/her with love,
kindness, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and respect? If you can give
that to your friend, why don’t you give that to yourself? Practice
treating yourself like you treat your very best friend by saying kind
words to yourself. Stop calling yourself names. Stop beating yourself
up. Give yourself compliments. Know your boundaries and listen deeply to
your needs. Always be kind and gentle with yourself.
22
Nurture yourself.
Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourself, just by
yourself. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with
yourself. You can nurture yourself physically by exercising and
consuming healthy food. You can nurture yourself emotionally by
listening to love songs, painting, or helping others in need. As you
give yourself to others and offer help, you receive the gift of love
back. You feel good about yourself because you live your life on
purpose. You can nurture yourself mentally by reading your favorite
books. You can nurture your spiritually by doing meditation.
23
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Everyone on this earth is unique. We all have different gifts. When you
compare yourself to others, it makes you feel bad about yourself. When
you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car, a
house, a mate, children, money, or a job, it makes you feel low self
esteem, lose your confidence, and perhaps depressed, envy or jealous. A
way to stop comparing yourself to others is by focusing on your own
strength. Get to know yourself and discover what is your greatest gift
that you are meant to share with the world. Another great way is by
practicing gratitude. Be happy for what you have. Really be grateful
about everything that you have; people in your life, job, relationships,
material, etc. Gratitude keeps your heart open to love. No one is quite
like you. Just be you. Be grateful for being the wonderful you. Do the
best you can. Be the best you can and love yourself more. Then, you have
more love to give to others.
24
Stop trying to be perfect.
Stop criticizing yourself for being less than perfect. Always do your
best, but not reaching perfection is NOT failure. Just follow all the
steps above and don't let anyone's expectations of you put any pressure
on you. Remember that no matter what, you will always be perfect just
the way you are, flaws and all.
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