Friday 18 January 2013

how to be happy?

Happiness - isn't that the thing we all strive to find and keep? Nobody is happy all the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others. Studies reveal that happiness has little to do with material goods or high achievement; it boils down to your outlook on life, and the quality of your relationships.

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    Be optimistic. In the seventies, researchers followed people who'd won the lottery and found that a year afterward, they were no happier than people who didn't. This hedonic adaptation suggests that we each have a baseline level of happiness. No matter what happens, good or bad, the effect on our happiness is temporary, and we tend to revert to our baseline level. Some people have a higher baseline happiness level than others, and that is due in part to genetics, but it's also largely influenced by how you think.[1] So, while this article will help boost your happiness, only improving your attitude towards life will increase your happiness permanently. Here are excellent starting points for doing that:

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    Follow your gut. In one study, two groups of people were asked to pick a poster to take home. One group was asked to analyze their decision, weighing pros and cons, and the other group was told to listen to their gut. Two weeks later, the group that followed their gut was happier with their posters than the group that analyzed their decisions.[2] Now, some of our decisions are more crucial than picking out posters, but by the time you're poring over your choice, the options you're weighing are probably very similar, and the difference will only temporarily affect your happiness. So next time you have a decision to make, and you're down to two or three options, just pick the one that feels right, and go with it. Never regret the decisions you make, though. Just live by the 3 C's of life: choices, chances, and changes. You need to make a choice to take a chance, or your life will never change.

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    Make enough money to meet basic needs: food, shelter, and clothing. In the US, that magic number is $40,000 a year. Any money beyond that will not necessarily make you happier. Remember the lottery winners mentioned earlier? Oodles of money didn't make them happier. Once you make enough to support basic needs, your happiness is not significantly affected by how much money you make, but by your level of optimism.[3]

    • Your comfort may increase with your salary, but comfort isn't what makes people happy. It makes people bored. That's why it's important to push beyond your comfort zone to fuel personal growth.
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    Stay close to friends and family: Or move to where they are, so you can see them more. We live in a mobile society, where people follow jobs around the country and sometimes around the world. We do this because we think salary increases make us happier, but in fact our relationships with friends and family have a far greater impact on happiness. So next time you think about relocating, consider that you'd need a salary increase of over $100,000 USD to compensate for the loss of happiness you'd have from moving away from friends and family.[4] But if relationships with family and friends are unhealthy or nonexistent, and you are bent on moving, choose a location where you'll make about the same amount of money as everyone else; according to research, people feel more financially secure (and happier) when on similar financial footing as the people around them, regardless of what that footing is.[5]
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    Have deep, meaningful conversations. A study by a psychologist at the University of Arizona has shown that spending less time participating in small talk and more time in deep, meaningful conversations can increase happiness. [6]
    1. Find happiness in the job you have now: Many people expect the right job or career to dramatically change their level of happiness, but research makes it clear that your levels of optimism and quality of relationships eclipse the satisfaction gained from your job.[7] If you have a positive outlook, you will make the best of any job, and if you have good relationships, you won't depend on your job for a sense of meaning. You'll find meaning in interactions with the people you care about. This isn't to say you shouldn't aspire to get a job that will make you happier; it means you should understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small relative to your outlook and your relationships.
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      Smile: Science suggests that when you smile, whether you feel happy or not, your mood is elevated. [8] [9] So smile all the time! In addition, having enough money to pay the bills allows you to focus your energies on more productive aspects of your life, such a the pursuit of happiness, as opposed to keeping the 'wolves from the door'.
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      Forgive: In a study of college students, an attitude of forgiveness contributed to better cardiovascular health. You could say forgiveness literally heals the heart. While it is unknown how forgiveness directly affects your heart, the study suggests that it may lower the perception of stress.[10]
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      Make friends. In a 2010 study published by Harvard researchers in American Sociological Review, people who went to church regularly reported greater life satisfaction than those who didn't. The critical factor was the quality of friendships made in church. Church-goers who lacked close friends there were no happier than people who never went to church. When researchers compared people who had the same number of close friends, those who had close friends from church were more satisfied with their lives.[11] It's thought that the forming of friendships based on mutual interests and beliefs (and meeting consistently based on that) makes the difference, so if church is not your thing, consider finding something else you're deeply passionate about and making friends with whom you can connect regularly based on that. Furthermore, when you interact with people who share your interests, you will feel happier due to sensations of reward and well-being. This is because during such interactions, endorphin and dopamine -- neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of happiness and relaxation -- are released. In other words, your body is designed to feel happier when engaged in social interactions. [ 
    5. Many people search for happiness, there are websites dedicated to happiness, there is coaching on happiness and there are books and courses on happiness. Millions of dollars are spent in the pursuit of happiness so why is it that so many people still seem unhappy? I often hear people say “I just want to be happy” or “I’m not happy”. We try to find happiness in material possessions, wealth or experiences…”If only I could go on a holiday I would be happy”. The problem with these things is that they can only bring temporary happiness. I believe social entrepreneurs have found the key to happiness.So what is this illusive thing called happiness and how do we get it?
      The definition to happiness is a “state of well-being characterised by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.”
      The Happiness Institute described happiness as the following:
      • setting and working towards meaningful and positive goals
      • having clear priorities about who we are and how we want to live
      • managing our energy through sleep, rest, exercise and good nutrition
      • recognising that all things bad eventually pass
      • celebrating all things good and savouring positive experiences
      • taking care of ourselves BUT also being kind and compassionate and caring and thoughtful to/for others
      • managing our weaknesses whilst spending just as much time fully utilising our strengths
      • having fun and playing and enjoying pleasure in all its various forms
      • making happiness a priority
      While I believe these things are worthwhile, I can’t help but think that too many of these things are focused on self rather than others.
      50% of happiness is in the genes

      Martin Reuter, a professor at the University of Bonn, published a paper identifying a gene that can help distinguish generous people from stingier ones.
      We inherit two versions of most of our genes, one from each parent –  which can be the same or different. Those who are most charitable, Reuter’s research indicated, generally have a positive outlook on the world as well as two copies of a particular gene variant called COMT-Val. Those with one copy of a related gene variant, COMT-Met, are less likely to donate money to a needy child in a developing country, and more likely to have a negative view of life. People with one of each of these genes lie in the middle, according to the research, published in the journal Social Cognitive & Affective Neuroscience.
      Lead author, Bruce Headey of the Melbourne Institute at the University of Melbourne, says the findings suggest genes only account for around 50 percent of well-being, with external factors accounting for the rest.

      Helping Others Brings Happiness

      Psychologists have been studing what causes an individual’s happiness for decades. In the 1970s many scientists thought that everyone had a set level of happiness – which they always return to – despite life’s ups and downs. This is called “set point theory” and is thought to be determined by genetics and early childhood experiences. However, the idea that happiness is a genetic trait influenced by early life experiences has been challenged by new research from Germany.
      The German Socio-Economic Panel survey spent 25 years tracking the happiness levels of 60,000 Germans and seems to have discover the key to happiness. It found that people who were persistently involved in altruistic activities, such as helping people, were more satisfied with life and experience greater happiness. It also found feelings of happiness and wellbeing respond to external factors such as healthy lifestyle, religion and working hours.

      Does money buy happiness? Well… yes and no

      We spend a lot of money trying to buy things that will bring us enjoyment or spend time pursuing wealth. Yet, we all know people with plenty of money who are still not very happy. Just have a look in the tabloids! So, how can money make you happy?
      New research suggests that it is possible to buy happiness after all: when you spend money on others. Study after study has shown that once your basic needs are met and you are not living in poverty, more money does not make you happier. Doctors Norton (Harvard Business School), Dunn and Aknin (both at University of British Columbia) wondered if the issue was not that money couldn’t buy happiness but that people simply weren’t spending it in the right way to make themselves happier. In a series of studies, University of British Columbia Professor Elizabeth Dunn found that individuals report significantly greater happiness if they spend money “pro-socially” – that is on gifts for others or charitable donations – rather than spending on themselves. ” Regardless of how much income each person made,” says Dunn, “those who spent money on others reported greater happiness, while those who spent more on themselves did not ”

      How does money buy happiness?

      A number of studies have researched exactly why charity leads to happiness. Surprisingly, it has to do with the effect on our brain chemistry. For example, people who give often report feelings of euphoria, which psychologists have referred to as the “Helper’s High.” They believe that charitable activity induces endorphins that produce a very mild version of the sensations people get from drugs like morphine and heroin.

      Social entrepreneurs are committed to seeing change, to solving problems and to make a difference in the lives of others. They need to be able to cultivate public compassion for their cause but it is also up to all of us to get involved by helping others and giving.
      You may discover that finding happiness is not so difficult after all!

      “If you want happiness for an hour ? take a nap.
      If you want happiness for a day ? go fishing.
      If you want happiness for a year ? inherit a fortune.
      If you want happiness for a lifetime ? help someone else.”
      Chinese Proverb
       
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